Forgiveness....the struggle to give it!

So today I am struggling with the need to give forgiveness...I guess I have been struggling with this for a long time. There has been an "issue" in my life for a few years now that has required me to give forgiveness. However I have never really realized it. Wow...that was super difficult to admit. For years I have thought I was handling the situation correctly and the fact that it was not at the surface anymore made me feel as if I was over it and it was "over". Well...that is not the case....so here I am trying to reach deep down inside to find the strength and the desire to forgive.

How do you begin to forgive when forgiveness has not been asked for? Nor has their been an apology for any of the "wrongs". As I ask that question and fight the sinful nature to not forgive I am reminded that my Heavenly Father has forgiven me for some major things in my life. He has forgiven me without my actions deserving his grace. I am humbled to know that He has forgiven me and will continue to forgive me. How is it that I am struggling with giving forgiveness so much? Is it because I know that giving forgiveness will release the individual of their responsibility to my hurt? But then I realize that they have no responsibility to my hurt because it is my hurt and I gave them control over my feelings.

My eyes are now clear to the real issue that has been on my shoulders for so long...I have given someone the ability to take my joy away. Giving forgiveness = restoring my joy. As I think about how I "feel" so many emotions come to the surface....hurt, anger, dislike, and many more. When the realization of what forgiveness would do for those emotions I simply conclude that I'd be a fool not to give forgiveness. Giving forgiveness would cover and remove all those negative emotions which would allow for healing to take place. Healing is what I need to be able to move on.

I am not sure why I felt so compelled this morning to sit down and write about this however it has made me feel much better. I leave you with this thought.....The ability to forgive displays true Godliness or at least the effort to reach Godliness. What is holding you (and me) back from forgiving and then therefore releasing yourself of the pain and the hurt?

Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Proverbs 19:11 A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.